Back On Track...

    “I will offer you a warm embrace… to make you feel my love.” –Kelly Clarkson

     It is hard to go back this time. Everything I’d missed for a long time will be on a “pause”. But I needed to finish what I’ve started. And again… my life will be on hold for a couple of months.

     I hate these feelings… sentimental and weak. Every time I come around and feel either one of it, all of my strengths just melt away or maybe just overwhelmed by these negative feelings. Why am I so like this? I hate it! Why do I have to have my thoughts so scattered for lame reasons or none at all. Sometimes I am just very stupid of making my life really complicated for a worthless thought. I always consider that fate is harsh with me without really seeing how grateful am I of having this kind of life.
   
     I know that there’s a good cause why I am doing such sacrifice right now. I know that there will be wonderful results in the end. But if you are going to ask me how sure am I… I am not. I believe that there will be nothing we wouldn’t do for the sake of our loved ones. And what I am thinking is that I am always doing these sacrifices for them. If I see everyone happy, automatically, I am happy too.

     As I go on my sentiments or maybe this is just a flight jitter, I shuffled my play list and found this one good song of my American Idol. I put it on repeat while writing this update. While listening, I started to see myself in the song. And after a few, my tears started to fall.

    Yes… I am very sentimental; I knew that fact long ago. I can’t hate me anymore so I loved it now.

To Make You Feel My Love

Kelly Clarkson

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love


The storms of rage are rolling wild and free
Down that highway of regret
The wind of change is blowing wild and free
But you aint seen nothing like me yet

There aint nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the end of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

     I said to myself that I needed to enjoy my life as well. Making a difference on every people’s life maybe my purpose in life but making myself happy is on top of that. I recently discovered that life is short and a friend told me that I should take every opportunity that comes into my life. Enjoy, take the pleasure, and wander around. Life should be happy and light. My dramas and insecurities may give me the award of the Drama Queen of the Year but seriously, why am I so hard to myself? Why can’t I cut myself a slack and break free from all of it? Why can’t just I enjoy and be happy of this life?

     Still listening to the song, I realized why I should go back to that place. Last year I got a job but I didn’t enjoy so I quit by the following month. I found myself sulking by the next following months because I can’t get a replacement job for the one I renounced. I said to myself that no matter what kind of company it will be, no matter what kind of people I will be working with, and no matter what it takes… I should prove to myself that by the next opportunity that will come, I should beat all the odds… and I should stay for a year.

     Maybe this is that chance. A chance to prove to myself that I can do something, better and worse from all the good and bad things I made with this life. Something worth of the regrets and the laughs. The opportunity to make myself grow and surpass my old self. And to at least make a “real” change and serve my purpose in life.

     I need to go back. This is what I should do. This is what I consider the right track. Maybe I missed a lot of things when I took this vacation… of course I will miss so many things and that would be a normal reaction. I’ve set my priorities long ago and I just needed to fix something… that is to put my own happiness on the list.

     I am back on track… so congratulate me. ^_^

Priorities Are Set

After a hellish experience, countless times of roller coaster rides, and so many probabilities from a "yes" and a "no", I came on a decision where everyone is going to benefit.

Aside from the fact that I followed the "professional etiquette", I do also have a chance to prove to myself that I could act mature and really professional. And the good thing is, I will be forced to save my earnings properly. ^_^

One year is enough... just one year I promise. I just really needed to be more patient and stop acting like a child. Learning is always there... where ever you are or what ever you do. The only hindrance would be if you could be as open-minded as could be to accept the facts and the changes. If not, well, you can really consider it as a wrong move.

Hahaha... reality shook me off and I've realized that I am now twenty-two years old already, I should be acting my age and dealing with the responsibilities and obligations of a person of my age. I can see clearly that several people depends on me, not only financially but also as their hope and inspiration. So I was thinking for the past few days if I am ready to disappoint these people who take me as their light on their darkest days.

Confusion... mood swings... uncertainties. Yes, it is a part of life. A part of growing up or rather maturing. I am not a perfect person and I consider those decisions as a part of my "major major" mistakes. Hehehe... but I am cool with that. What can I do? It is over and done... the only option left is to be better and avoid doing it the next time it resurfaced.

To tell you the truth... it was a very nurturing experience for me. Being confused and having an unknown state of my life and later on reinstating my priorities in life and dealing it as a grown-up, well... really great and thanks God I experienced it.

Now, I could feel dejavu again. But this time it is a positive feeling. I haven't been this happy again. I haven't felt so sure of my plans like this much that I am so sure of the next few steps I am making.

This time there will be no more shortcuts or detours. The way is straight and up ahead. Only one direction. Forward.

Life is really unexpected. And I am okay with that.

Like what my friend told, life is too short to be unhappy. I should be living my life as I wanted it. I should be taking risks like there is no more chances left for me to take.

The good thing is... my priorities are set.

And I like it... so wish me luck. ^_^

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Breakaway

by Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down

I’d just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be

And if I’d end up happy

I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out

But when I tried to speak out

Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here

So I prayed I could break away

[Chorus:]

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly

I’ll do what it takes til’ I touch the sky

And I’ll make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won’t forget all the ones that I love

I’ll take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze

Sleep under a palm tree

Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train

Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)

And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors

Swinging around revolving doors

Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but

Gotta keep moving on, moving on

Fly away, breakaway

I’ll spread my wings

And I’ll learn how to fly

Though it’s not easy to tell you goodbye

I gotta take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won’t forget the place I come from

I gotta take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Choices and Options

Life is a matter of choosing the right options.

And ending with this kind of options takes a lot of time and thinking before you decided that it is final and irrevocable.

It's August already and nothing so special happened. And I could feel that I am wearing down and my skills are getting rusty. I felt so sure about this, I am wasting my time. All these chances I had for this year were long gone because I cannot set a proper decision on what way to take-on. I always trust my first judgement so I end up choosing a wrong path.

What should I do if I'm caught up in the sack? Should I struggle to get out or shall I stay and wait for help?

As everyone is saying... it should be my choice. And I wanted to make one now.

I won't gonna waste anymore time here and will have a clean exit. I'll just finish the contract and I'll just give them the bargain that they want.

Why should I be afraid of what will happen when I go back home? I've been like this several times and I always see myself standing up after falling down so hard. I just realized this and I laughed after getting the logic out of it. The fear holds me back so many times for so long, around 6 months, and I haven't noticed that it makes me a coward of myself and turning me into someone different. Now, I wake up from the dream and I will face the truth no matter what.

I want to make this final this time. I will go back to Manila again. And will try to find a better oppurtunity for me. I know it is so hard to find a new job right now but I don't want to stress myself anymore because I am not happy with the situation here.

One of the most important thing for me is happiness and it will go on like that forever. It is my life and it should be my decision. I want to make my happiness as a part of my first priority. And frankly speaking I am not getting better here, in fact, I am getting worse. If I'm not learning or any good change or improvement hasn't happened to me, my defense mechanism will tell me to bounce out as soon as possible. But it is so improper to disappear without notice, it is unfair for them if I leave the way I wanted to.

Since I submitted my letter last month and I am still doing my part of the bargain, maybe it wouldn't matter to them anymore if I leave or stay longer. There are always so many dramas when I decided to leave and the funny thing is, they always psyche me to stay with them. And the funnier part is, I always get psyched by them. Hahaha.

So... let us all see. Twenty-two days more. If change and improvement will be on its way here... they should already be half-way. Because time is running out for them... they might not be able to hold me back a little longer. ^_^

It is my 22nd Year now!!! ^_^

Twenty-Two and Thankful

By Brangien

Another year ended,

One more year is added.

Yesterday I was younger,

But today I am better.

Looking back from my old days,

I see a lot… smiles, tears, family, and friends.

Looking now to where I am,

I see a lot… goals, dreams, and achievements.

I compared yesterday and today,

The only difference is only at my age.

I am twenty-two now and will be older,

But what I have never needed to fade.

Dreams are ambitious

Wants are supercilious,

Plans are hilarious,

But deeds will still be serious.

For all the tears and smiles,

To all the friends I’d known,

And to the family I belong,

I am thankful… it has been twenty-two.

More years will come and make me older,

More people will pass and teach me lesson,

More scenes will flash and views to see,

Surely will always be a pleasant happy feeling to me.

Now that I am twenty-two,

The world become bigger and wilder.

Now that I am twenty-two,

Will be more mature and cautious.

But all in all, these twenty two years of mine,

Whichever point in my life we talk about,

I am certain of the things to tell,

I am now twenty-two and gratefully thankful.

Crazy About You (Chapter III)

Chapter III
HE KEEPS ON BUGGING ME EVEN IN MY DREAMS



I opened my eyes and all I can see is darkness. Automatically I knew that I was dreaming that moment on. It is so silent… it is kind of comforting amidst the blindness I am having right now. Maybe I was too tired the whole day and from all the scenes I witnessed today, being tired is just an understatement. I decided not to wake up and take time wandering here in my dream; it was like a powerful drug that makes me want it more and more… who knows what might be able to happen here?

Light flashed and it was a total washout… No… no… no! I felt too afraid of loosing the comforting silence and the peace I am having… I don’t want it to shift to another scene, for I wanted it to be like this forever. I am running out of breath and it feels like I am being strangled. I am sure I wanted to shout out for help to anyone around but the words coming out of me are voiceless and empty. I desperately looked around and it was still dark… and the strangling is not stopping at all… and I almost loose it.

“Don’t take this away!” I revolted. Now my words are now audible at the scene.

“Shall I come back later?” a familiar voice replied. I knew right away whom the voice belong. That certain huskiness and the way humor is injected to the phrases… definitely it is Liam.

“No!” as I struggled to make it sure it was loud enough for him to hear. “Stay… please… doesn’t leave me here alone.” I pleaded. This is my dream now… so how come I still ask for something. I should be the one deciding on what will happen at every scene… no more boundaries and no one to consider at all. This dream shall be the best dream I will ever have. If not, it will be the worst of all the worst nightmares I had.

“If I stay… what shall I do here? I felt like intruding.” Liam asked. If in the real world, he might mean an argument already but this is different, the voice is so soothing like a summer afternoon lullaby.

“Why are you here” I asked him ignorantly. I started to feel breeze passing by me, subtle at first and then gets more noticeable as it passes.

“You called for me… I’m just doing what I was told to.” He answered.

“I haven’t.” I mocked.

“I told you... I shall come back ‘til you call for my turn.” The voice is not running out of patience in it.

“No! I don’t mean that way. Stay.” I now commanded. “Just be mine until it is possible.” I followed. That is what I am asking for since the beginning. Now that I exclusively have you here, I won’t let it pass just like that.

The breeze passed by again. I cannot tell whether it is cold or warm… I feel both sensations at the same time confusing my mind what to decide on how the wind feels like. A moment later it blew again… but something is with it… scent of lilac and lavender, I am pretty much sure about it. And then the scene shifted. A flash of light passed by with the last breeze. As I opened my eyes, the darkness was lost but still I can’t see anything… it is too bright I rather wanted to close my eyes. The breeze came back together with the scent of lilacs and lavenders… but I could here it passing now. I tried to decipher all the whistling and hushing of the wind as it passes by and I could here another sound, it sounds like I am at an open field with luscious greens. Then I found myself in the bliss of greens… yellows… and maybe purple and white too. It wasn’t too colorful but not so boring and colorless at all, you could tell the colors you see and now I could see dots of blue and hues of gray. Other than the blue sky and some white patch of clouds streaming above, the sun shines too bright but I can’t feel too hot as it has to be.

Suddenly the vision zoomed upward… revealing the entire field of lilacs, lavenders, and so many greens. I saw a tall tree by the northeast and a stream of calm waters by the south banks. I started feeling like falling little by little or maybe it is most likely the feeling of a landing plane. But there is no plane and I am not riding any… I could feel the strong wind against my touchdown and I could hear a surge every time I pass a cloud. The sensation is really like flying but it was more of a fall rather than a flight. I hit the ground all of a sudden… and it all went black as if I became unconscious or rather dead from falling from the sky.

I started gasping air desperately. My throat was dry from all the air that capacitated my lungs while I am falling. I tried opening my eyes but I felt too weak. I knew I crashed to the ground but it wasn’t that painful at all. My back feels like normal and I could feel I was lying on a bed. I tried to focus more on opening my eyes carefully not to wake up from this dream. Then I felt some other thing as well—a broad, hard, and warm thing crushing my left arm. A hand tapping my forehead and caressing face lightly followed it. The tapping and touching cradle down to my neck and back again to my forehead… and it was repeated over and over. Continued shiver was the only response my body admitted. I tried again on opening my eyes and see who I am with.

I opened my eyes and my vision started to clear up from a blurry scene. It was dark and I am inside a car—Liam’s Carrera. I jolted as soon as I came to my senses. I begged for a rewind and be brought back to my dreams again. It was the scene I was into earlier while I was out on a “date” with Liam. I suddenly thought that I may still be dreaming but it feels like I am very awake. There are no intensified sensations like in the dream and no bizarre feelings anymore. It really felt like so real. I could feel my own heart beats so strong just like the way it was earlier and my breathing keeps on changing from too highs and deep lows. Beside me is a godly creature that is in his deepest sleep. I can also hear his own breathing and every movement he does makes me shiver. I decided to play it up a little and check if he is really in a deep sleep. I slowly come closer to him and carefully pinched Liam’s gorgeous nose. He never frowned or anything so I guess he is really asleep.

I started the maneuver exactly the same way I did earlier inside the car: left arm in support and right hand in command. I shifted my body gracefully not to do any major actions that will move the whole car and shake the sleeping Adonis beside me. Now, I never planned and surely decided of not going down to visit the prince in his castle, but instead, I wanted to do something I really craving about. I then wondered how good will Liam is in kissing someone like me. I pushed myself closer to get a better access of his lips. All of my body is trembling already and I could feel sweat dripping from the nape of my neck. But like in my dreams, it was like the breeze which I cannot tell if cold or warm. I closed my eyes from the moment my lips are millimeters away from Liam’s lips. I started to imagine us in that luscious field of lilacs and lavenders. Then our lips collided. I tried to open Liam’s mouth to gain more control of that kiss. Out of the blue, a hand touched the back of my head and another pushed my back closer to Liam. I opened my eyes and I was startled to what I see… Liam is awake and the thing is, he is taking over the kiss. To my surprise, I loss the support from my left arm and landed at Liam’s hips sited sideways. I found both of my arms wrapped around his neck and frightfully I cannot take away my sight from his eyes. Liam’s gaze is not mad at all… I can tell that he is not pissed-off or anything at all. No moments passed any further when he suddenly pushed me closer to him again and crushed his lips into my lips.

It started really careful and every exchange of breath is partnered with a caress of his hands. I am getting carried away already… maybe I am really still in my dreams. I move my right hand behind his head and clutched my left hand on his back. I hugged him tightly as if I am going to be carried by a strong wind at any time. The kiss became more carefree and begun to be passionate. I never expected Liam to be as good as now. I felt too much of a roller coaster ride compared to what I’ve done earlier with the crazy rendezvous. I loved the warmth of Liam’s breath; it feels like there is a burning charcoal inside of his lungs. He kisses and moans at the same time… but the way he did wasn’t like the porn I had watched before, never sounded erotic to me. I am starting to run out of breath but he refuses to set me free to gasp for some air, instead he pushed more of his air while he returns my kisses. Moment further he started to move a little bit from my lips behind my ears then down to my neck and back again to my lips. It was so seducing I’ve fallen more into him and started to make my own moves. I started to unbutton his shirt until I almost reach his belt. I tried on setting myself in another pose but he never let loose of me. So instead of taking off his top, I left it on him. As soon we came back on kissing each other, I pulled my hands into his chest and started scribbling around his well, chiseled body. I pinched his nipples and go around his broad chest. I searched behind his muscled back and went upward to push his face harder against mine.

The scene of touching and kissing went wild to wilder. We keep on like that for so long I’ve felt bored and loss the track of time. I decided to go down to his pants and take it to the next level. But again, he insisted of not loosing the grab on me. Suddenly everything paused. Rain came down from the dark sky and every drop of rain that reaches the ground burst so loudly I cannot bare it. While the deafening shots of raindrops hit the ground, my memory started to falter. As rain goes down and each drop that reaches the ground shatter the part it touches… a little moment passed, I see my dream world disappear little by little until darkness reigned again. Darkness prevailed as well as the decadent rain… it never stopped, I could feel it drenching my body and I could hear it splatter into the ground. The scene stayed like that for so long I got sick of it. I felt so tired and weak but still I am sure I was standing. Liam is not beside me anymore and neither of the cars and all of the realities I had while kissing him and touching his great endowments. I craved for more… but I craved not of the kiss and the body but of the feelings that swirls inside my heart while our lips collide and we shared the same air so passionately. Then I could here sobs from myself and I started crying… The rain continued until the scene shifted. I opened my eyes and found myself sobbing in my pillows and traced some trails that are distinguished from my tears.

I am back in the reality but still the tears continued to ream on my eyes and the rain never did stopped. The fact of loosing that dream with Liam is not what I am sad about, but the truth that it will never be in reality forever in my life made me think that I’ve gone too far. That dream is over and I can’t be like a fool mussing over such wet dreams. As a resolute, I tried to fix myself up. I switched on the lamp and check on the clock, and it is now twenty minutes pass six o’clock in the morning. The rain is still dripping from the dark sky and I could here it batter the lanai of my pad. I turned on the television and tuned in with NBC to check out for some weather forecast… I am not pretty sure now if there is just a storm or maybe it is the end of the world.

What about school then? I mumbled on the note that if there will be suspension of classes for today, what will happen to the proofreading I had yesterday all day? I presided on the fact that I went nuts of re-doing the layouts just for the sake of today’s worth of news and now the rain will just take it for granted. My mind is now distracted by the fact that all of my hard works of yesterday will really go to the waste bin for nothing… and the crazy thoughts about Liam and that dream and that happening inside his car last night were all vanished.

Crazy About You (Chapter II)

Chapter II
HE CAN’T BE NICE FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE



I am home alone. Basically, I live with myself in my own pad. My parent stays in Singapore to deal with our cosmetics business. Uncle Pancho, Dorotha’s father is in the Lion City as well, working as the GM of Ford Motors. I started having a life on my own the time I entered high school… and it never became a problem to me living alone because ever since before, mom and dad always go around the world to make a living for our family. It is either I stay with Aunt Mary together with D or I came with them, which is not a good idea because I am still studying. But aside from that fact, there is no problem at all. What has been so funny ever since… was my parents piled up a huge lump of cash to my account and then bid me to use it however I liked. As if I needed so much money in this very simple life of mine. To tell you the truth, I haven’t set foot on the bank since my parents opened-up an account for my discretion. The monthly dues and all of the expenses for my flat were all on auto-debit agreement so I really don’t have to do any payments every month. I earn my allowance from doing tutorial to younger students and plus the subsidiary I get for being an editor of Whistler Wall… so why mind about my allowance? And practically, I don’t do tuition fees because I am enrolled through a hard-earned scholarship. My parents are such lucky people having me as their child.

I am Mythos. I should be branded “Mythology Javier” when my father decided to covet his books of ancient history to me. I am so lucky my mom insisted of making it short to now-my-name Mythos. My parents migrated here in Manhattan from Toledo, Spain. They came in together with Dorotha’s parents. It seemed that the ties between my parents and Dorotha’s bounded us to be like them. They’ve known each other since childhood and grew up together in Toledo until they decided of journeying to USA and to live an American dream. But anyway, I am the editor-in-Chief of Whistler Wall, WSHS’ school paper. I represent the student body to each board meeting together with Dorotha as part of the Student Council. I worked my way up to my status and it was a hard-earned success of all my academic prowess and me being friendly. I consider myself like a typical kind of man, nothing too special to be spoiled and not too outcast to be ignored. Dorotha finds me charming as well as so many girls in school… it is an easy access for my prudence, but unluckily Liam found out a secret that he shouldn’t be… thanks to D for that.

Finally I am home… reserved to the comforts of a peaceful flat. Still I desperately needed to rush the layouts for tomorrow. Why does Liam need to be such a jerk today? Can’t he understand words like “please” and “no”? After I change my clothes, I went straight to my desk to start printing fresh copies of the layouts… if Mark used the exact document file I forwarded him last night, that means I am saved from such a boring night! I picked the first few pages that were printed and it is exactly the same as this afternoon’s printouts. After several more pages came out of the printer, I am almost done… until I noticed something is wrong. And OMG… the last pages aren’t properly fitted to the boxes as they were earlier. And so… that is my cue, I now need to re-arrange the errors as fast as I could. Lucky for me, that is the only thing I should be doing… I don’t have to proofread it since I’ve checked the early copy clean.

The stressing task of the layout is done… and it made me devastatingly hungry. After compiling the layouts on the “book”, I went to the kitchen to start cooking up something to bite on. I remembered my homework for Chef Nikolav’s… then so I did my instant eggs cookery session at home. I have to fill some questions regarding how I prepared my own Eggs Benedict, and it is pretty easy for someone like me who is undoubtedly inclined to kitchen tasks. Before taking my dinner, which is actually a breakfast item, I secured a snap shot of what my product was so I could show it to the class tomorrow.

I am in the middle of taking my Eggs Benedict when the phone rang…

“Hello… Mythos?” the voice is always been a melody to my ears, and it is Aunt Mary.

“Aunt Mary… I am so sorry for not coming tonight…” I immediately apologized to keep the conversation short.

“Bet you are now dreaming of how good the Angus barbecue likes… Liam and Dorotha are having such a nice evening right now…” she followed. She clearly knows how to play this game. Aunt Mary was always been very kind to me… and for the longest time I’ve known her, I considered her as my second mother already.

“Enough! Don’t add more burdens to my growling stomach… I promise not to flake next time.” I kept my voice in between sweet and assuring.

“Anyways… Liam is here beside me… I think he wanted to talk to you…” She informed me. I could almost here the passing of the receiver to Liam… a dug to something firm resonated from the other line.

And what the hell this guy wants now… why can’t he just stab me with a knife and go on with his life???

“Hey… Mythos… you there?” Liam sounded he was just got scolded by his mom.

“Of course I am here… you wanted to talk right… talk now… I have something else to do, make it short.” I make it not so entertaining so he’ll feel awful of what he did.

“I’m sorry man. I haven’t thought of what I’ve caused you… sorry for being such a jerk earlier in school.” He seems to mean each of the words he just said.

“Don’t worry about it now… I was able to print the exact file I did earlier. I’m fine now, in fact I am having my dinner right now…” My voice is happy… I don’t know if that was because of the fact Liam apologizes or the fact that I was able to eat on time. “So if you don’t have anything more to say… can I continue on my meal now?” I followed.

“Still… I feel like I owe you big time. I’ve realized how things are going on earlier when Dorotha conversed with me on our way here… actually she asked me a favor.” Liam explained.

“Favor???” I replied confused.

“Yes… not for her this time. She wanted me to take time to know you better. To make-up the time I’ve been bullying you.” He contemplated. I am still confused why in the world Dorotha will ask for that kind of thing to this man. But I guess she knew how much I hate the situation every time Liam is around me. Well… it is here, what else can I do now.

“So… what about it?” I asked. I kept my intentions clear. I wanted to know him as well. Maybe all my frustrations back then will be gone if I will know him better. And also, I might find a good reason to hate him more.

“I think you aren’t busy anymore since you had time to eat dinner… am I right?” said Liam. His words came by fluidly, it looked like he got to practice ahead before he had this conversation with me. But I wanted to spare him a chance… I don’t know what he is really up to but why not take the chance.

“Ahm… you quite right… what you up to?” I am getting edgy but I made my voice as normal as possible. I don’t want him to notice how I am getting into the conversation.

“Nice… I’ll gonna pick you up later.” He imposed. “Got to go… I am also having my dinner; Dorotha is kinda looking mad at me already for ditching the meal…” he followed.

“Okay. See you.” I replied. I slipped on the last note… I think I speak too happily on the last part. I hope he did not hear that.

I hang up the phone and started eating again. Liam’s offer of peace and quality time together is really freaking me out right now. Why is he doing all the fuss? I know Dorotha is such a sweet girl but what is the whole reason of asking his boyfriend to do such a thing. But well… maybe I am right, Liam is up to something for sure, and I shouldn’t be caught off-guard.

While finishing up the dishes, the bell rang. I am surprised Liam came by right after dinner. I thought he’d be coming more lately than this. I pressed the button from series of switches in the dashboard to unlock the door and let Liam come in.

“I never expected you to be this early.” I explained to him while I swipe the plate dry. “What was the matter really… spill it.” I followed.

“Dorotha send me out right after we eat.” Liam explained.

“I’m just finishing up some dishes… would you like to wait while watching the television.” I replied as I pointed to the sofa and handing him the remote for the Bravia.

Liam immediately slouched on the sofa. He turned on to URCC channel and started swearing words out loud. Back in the kitchen, I started to figure out some probabilities of what he might be planning to do. So I asked him sneakily…

“Hey… aren’t we going out because we are supposed to hangout right?” I wanted to explain the idea of going outside to do anything just to kill time and let Dorotha think that we are really doing our parts.

“Right… what you want?” the voice is too plain. I think he is not paying attention to the conversation for he is immersed already with the program.

“Whatever you like dude?” I compromised.

I then saw Liam on his phone dialing and after a moment, I found him talking to someone. I kind of overheard the conversation and definitely he is asking another friend to hangout with.

“Who’s that?” I curiously asked… assuming that we are going to chill out to make amends to what have been happening between us and to be closer to each other for Dorotha’s sake.

“Oh… my guy Philip. I hope you won’t mind I invited someone.” He answered but I could still see that the fight of Istonza and Ramirez draws his attention.

“So where we’ll be “chilling out” tonight? I can’t stay out too late… I had some compromise right?” I let him remember his deeds earlier.

“Just by the Crowley’s… I told Philip to be there by nine o’clock.” He said… apathetically.

He turned off the television and grabbed his jacket and put it on. Liam went out the flat rushing as if there’s a fire inside. I quickly grab my jacket by the door and put it on as well. I tried to keep up my pace by threading bigger steps… I almost slipped on my way out my apartment. Liam wasn’t outside the corridor when I turned to look for him after I safely locked the doors. I decided to come down thinking that he might fetch the car. I reached the ground floor and there he is waiting… with his Carrera already attuned. Liam is standing outside the driver’s seat hitting some cigars… he quickly offered me to smoke without asking if I do smoke or not. I refused on the offer and quickly hopped inside the convertible. I glanced to his direction and saw him ditching the cigar on the ground and went inside the car immediately.

“We can just not go and you could stay in your place and I shall go alone. If you really don’t like to go I understand… it is pretty easy to make up some story for Dorotha tomorrow you know.” He explained and looked me with a gaze that is terribly sexy… he might mean that I don’t have any choice but to go.

“No… I am fine. I am sorry… you could smoke here, just go on… don’t mind me being here.” I gave a sincerity shot to his eye.

“Dorotha said you don’t smoke…” he continued.

“Oh… has she said that…” I tried to sound ignorant but I failed… a smile hinted by the end of my lips and I am very sure he saw that. It is so dear of Liam to still consider that fact, it is either he is just avoiding a fight tomorrow after I tell Dorotha that he smoked inside his car while I’m around or he cared for me. But the later thought might just be my fantasy… why would he do that?

“You are so funny… don’t you know that?” Liam said and then laughter fluttered out his chest.

“Whatever dude?!” I wanted to be sarcastic but I sounded in denial.

The surrounding become silent as the moment Liam stopped from laughing. The lot is out of car, maybe just because it is a Wednesday night and majority of the yuppies living in One Colorado are out partying. Liam looked straight outside the windshield… I tried trailing what he is looking at but I failed… He seemed out of his thoughts and maybe thinking so deep right now. I wanted to get his attention but he may loose his patience already if I try to distract him. He stayed on his own thought for a very long time, if I were taking records of the time… maybe he was like that for more than ten minutes already. I got worried about how he is acting then… but I still hesitated from distracting him, seeing Liam so close like this without resistance and any further disgrace, it is one of the happiest moments in my life. More minutes passed but he is still on standby, I then realized that he might be fallen into sleep while his eyes are open and started daydreaming. I came closer by him. I leaned my left hand beside the handbrake to support the weight of my body as I tried to feel if he is still breathing. I then found out that he already asleep. I went back to my sit carefully not to wake him up. I decrease the volume of the stereo and adjusted the thermostat to low. Liam must be very tired he fell asleep keeping his eyes open and forgotten that we are supposetedly meeting up his teammate.

A surprising alarm broke the stillness inside the car… I almost screamed. I then realized I fell asleep too. I quickly glanced over Liam and checked if I awaken him… luckily that he is still sleeping but now his head on the headrest and eyes are shuttered down. As soon as I came back into my senses, I saw the clock registering 11:55. It gotten so cold inside the car and the stereo were still on the lowest volume. The car’s engine was shut off already but the headlights are still on. I twisted the car key by one phase counter clockwise to switch off the headlights. It became so dark outside as soon as the lights are gone. I then noticed that it was raining so hard… maybe that is why it went too cold and thought that there was a sudden block out that’s why the street lamps are out. I switched the warmer up by two bars and the temperature started to saturate. I went to find where the sound is coming from and I caught something is beeping inside one of Liam’s pockets... definitely it’s his Motorola. I decided not to wake him and instead check his mobile myself… Dorotha might be calling him. I came closer again to him and leaned my left hand for support. My heart went pumping like crazy when my hand started cradling its way by the brink of Liam’s seat. But I couldn’t see where my hand has been touching. It is peach black inside the car and the only illuminations we have were from the LED of the stereo, but it wasn’t enough… so then I ignored it. I came closer to him being careful not to be too close. I could still hear his lowly breathing and his heartbeats went slow… he is definitely still asleep. I started to lightly tap the part that I could see his shoulder… then down to the pockets on his shirt… Why did he wear a shirt with so many pockets??? There’s nothing on the left pocket so I slowly navigate my hand to the other side. I felt the hardness of his broad chest and the crumbling of the air inside it. I needed to lift my body more to reach the pocket. Carefully and silently I moved closer to him, our face perpendicular to each other… I could now smell his body scent… and the perfume he is using feels like ecstasy to my mind. I manage to tap the other pocket of his shirt but nothing is there too. I went down to his jacket’s pockets but the phone is not there… so definitely it is on his pants.

Searching his shirt for that phone and by with the position I am at, my left arm felt numb so I decided to reset myself. When I came back to my seat, cold sweat started to round up my neck, to my back and to my chest… I was then perspiring… maybe because of too much palpitation. The beeping continued and I got so alarmed that he’ll be awake not so soon. I thought of waking him since it was his phone but I still hesitated. (I cannot forgot what happened when we were at the nature’s camp last summer, he punched Robert when he got awaken from his deep sleep.)--And this scene is not too different from that one. I really don’t care about getting hurt but a part of me stops me from doing so. I then restarted. I will be searching now down at his pants… so if I don’t want to make myself silly and suffer from a lifetime of burden from this guy, I should be really careful with my search. I leaned again my left hand by the handbrake. I suddenly got so frightened and was really been so surprised when Liam had a deep breath. With that sudden rush, I got out of balance and my right hand helplessly pressed in between his legs… right over the rocky edges of the Grand Canyon. And I got so surprised to what I’ve felt. A shivering current stroked my whole body and another shiver went out until I trembled crazily like I was having hypothermia. The next moment I found myself almost over him while my hand is on “him.” It is so embarrassing! I don’t want to look up at his face to check if he got awaken by that. I became so nervous and my heart raged as if it will not beat anymore. I am really surprised but I suddenly got so curious at the same time. I did not assume of taking advantage of this sleeping clad and never did I planned of doing the most foolish act of my life.

The phone stopped from beeping and it became much more silent. The only things I could hear are Liam’s breathing, my own breathing, and the embarrassingly tugging of my heart. Then crazy thoughts and so many other things whirled into my mind all at the same time. I felt some force is now moving by its own took my body. I found myself leaning by Liam’s right leg and faced down. My left hand is no longer supporting my body but instead I found it clutch at Liam’s back heaps. And I thought that I got possessed. My right hand started to move upward by the trail of the zipper and any moment further I found my hand unzipping his pants. Now the zipper was open and heat came out ravishingly from inside, it was like a steam from a whistling kettle. And a scent I am familiar with overtook my consciousness as if it was inviting me to come inside. My right hand started to move again… now downward the open zip and inside that inviting scent. And there I am holding that thing ignorantly as if it was my first time to hold such a kind of bond. I then realized that all of Dorotha’s passion about this guy was true and it convinced myself why she is so into him.

A streak of light came from a passing car and I got really really nervous. I am so dead! If Liam see and find me in this act… what shall be the next scene??? So many things come all at once and I saw several things at the same moment: as light pass by Liam’s face I saw his eyes are opened and focused at me… and the craziest thing I’ve noticed was the smile on his face. Then it became dark after the car passed by us. My heartbeats became so much pronounced that I could almost feel it is shaking the whole car. Another stroke of light struck Liam’s face and I saw another scene: Liam asleep like nothing happened. My hand inside the zipper got so warm it started to sweat and I started to feel the pulsing of that particular muscle inside the fine brief he is wearing. I felt too nervous already I am going to collapse. But that inviting scent kept me alive. There are so many happenings all at once and my brain cannot register what were I’ve been doing simultaneously. Then a beeping sound made me flinch from my position… Liam’s V3X begun beeping again. I quickly changed my thoughts and went back to my first composition. Slowly and carefully I pulled-out my hand from the unzipped pants and tried to pull the zippers back. Another motion startled me when Liam moaned as if he is disapproving my latest thought. I stopped from pulling the zippers back and Liam’s body calmed. I then felt the thing inside grew larger than it was seconds ago. But I hesitated from intruding my hands back to the inviting scent. I forced myself to hold the zipper and pull it up until halfway it should be. Liam stopped from moaning and I could hear him breathing slowly again. My mind is so stubborn right now it constantly injects the thought of unzipping the pants again and the worst… go further from there.

The beeping continued and it already annoyed me. Actually it was a great help of distracting me from my dark plans. I slowly slipped my only able and accessible left hand inside his right pocket and carefully pulled his mobile out. It was a success… I now hold Liam’s cellular and it is still beeping. I am damn so right about who is calling… the caller id registered “Babe”, and I am pretty sure that it was D. I went back to my seat sweating like never. The trembling and shivering didn’t stop until I went back to check at Liam’s phone again. The beeping stopped and the LCD showed “8 missed calls.” Great! I am really so dead. I paused for a while to think of what to do. I laid out several possible options. First, I will put back Liam’s phone in his pocket and wait for it to ring again then I will wake him and tell him someone might be calling then I’ll tell him we both fall asleep. Second option is, I will wait for the phone to ring but now I won’t be putting it back to Liam’s pocket and then I will wake him to let him know who is calling… then I’ll just pretend nothing happened and tell him we both fall asleep as well. Or lastly, I will turn off the phone and wait for myself be possessed again by that weird force and wait what will happen next and come what may.

Suddenly the street lamp lit up and the surrounding became brighter with a flash. Then the rain calmed down to some drips and stayed like that. The temperature inside the car went back to normal but still I could feel that my shirt was wet from all that perspiring… I then noticed that I still have my jackets on me. I paused for a while and then decided to pretend asleep until Liam wakes up and then I’ll pretend nothing happened. But then I was shocked when I glanced to Liam’s face. His eyes are open and there was a poker face. I let myself calm and wait for his moves then I’ll just start it from there. I hope he is clueless from all that happened, because if he is not… then I am dead meat by now.

“God… did I fell asleep?” Liam asked as if nothing happened. But it seemed he is really clueless.

“It rained and all… that’s the last thing I remembered… I fell asleep too.” I lied.

“Oh shit! Philip…” Liam got so surprised. Then he searched for his phone while looking at the clock that now registers 12:22.

“Here… I got awaken by the beeping of your phone… I think everyone has been calling you then.” I pretended I just was about to see how many missed calls he got.

Liam quickly pressed the call button and started mumbling…

“Dude… I am so sorry… I got stuck here because of all the rain and all that. Then I fell asleep… maybe I was too tired for today.” Liam mumbled on his phone. He is a great liar and it is pretty believable. “Okay. See you tomorrow then. Play-offs with the Wildcats right after Physics.” He followed as if the lie was all about true.

“So?” I am waiting for an update.

“There was a power black-out earlier and everyone got stranded too at the Crowley’s. But everyone are now going home.” Liam explained. While he is talking, car starts to fill-up the parking lot of the condominium… it seemed that that rain ruined everyone’s Wednesday night-out.

“We call it a good night then???” I am not so sure of what I am saying. “Or maybe we could have some beer upstairs? Or maybe you would like to stay here until tomorrow… I cook a good breakfast you know.” I followed. I am such a funny man.

“You looked you did enjoy all night dude… what happened?” a recognizable smirk in his face is formed; it is exactly the same smile I saw earlier by the first light that struck his face.

“Huh?” I pretended clueless.

“I think I’ll be going home now… thanks for the night I guess???” He said. That smile is still on his face and his eye sparkles like a diamond.

“Okay… me too I guess… I’ll take care of D… try to come up with a good story.” I replied assuring him with my last thought.

“That is… what happened? Or what you did enjoyed?” he said with that familiar smile.

“Just ride with it and then we get along… period.” As I pretended again. “You sure you don’t like to have some more beer?” I insisted.

“Why?” He asked. Now his brows are quenched as his forehead is. As if he is waiting for me to say something or he is expecting something. Have I sounded flirting again?

“Nah! Just go home. Be careful, road is still wet… Let me know when you’re home.” I commanded as I hop outside the Carrera.

I quickly leaped my way to the fore tier of the building while waiting for Liam to drive out the lot. He then throws a look to me… and it seemed so weird by this time, it looked like he enjoyed the night the way I do. The engine roared and suddenly my one night rendezvous was over. I went upstairs and grab some more beers. I sat on the couch and switched on the TV. I tuned on to Food Network, and I found Emeril is just starting. After two commercials, my phone beeped and I received a text message… and it was from Liam:

“Thanks for the night. I am home now. I know you did enjoyed… but I am disappointed.” Liam said.

I quickly tuned myself back to Emeril to get some distraction. What does he means about being disappointed??? I am getting crazier… was he awake when I was on the loose or he is just playing it up and waits for me to spill it out. My mind is going to explode with all of what just happened and all the things I am processing. I feel like throwing up any moment soon and I felt too drunk. I started to drift to sleep and loose everything from control…

Crazy About You (Chapter I)

Chapter I
HE IS EVERYTHING THAT ANNOYS ME



I was in the office proofreading the layouts for the next day’s school paper. I finished almost half of it when I started yawning… and I am getting pretty bored. I planned to do my homework for Chef Nikolav’s Eggs Cookery instead so I will get distracted and get a breather. I hesitated to start on it, I feel so drained already. I had a very busy day today and I just wanted to have a dip on my tub. The humidity of this day is not helping me have a peace of mind. Then I just decided to finish what I was doing at home but I realized that I am meeting Dorotha by the end of her practice with the pep squad. So I am left with no choice but to do the layouts again. Luckily, I saw a good way of distraction. The soccer team was out in the field for their daily afternoon practice. I spotted Liam having rounds around the field together with some other varsities.

I am on the entertainment page already. Checking the crossword puzzle never fails to give me a fresh breather. It is just like a rain after a hot day walk on the desert. And after some more minutes… I am glad that proofreading is over! It is pass five already but there is no sign of Dorotha in my office. I am thinking of flaking with Aunt Mary’s barbecue night and just go home by myself. I was about to arrange the layouts together in one piece when my phone rang and the caller id registered my best friend’s number.

“M! You still there? Wait up a bit… practice is almost over. Don’t plan to walk yourself home. My mother is expecting you for dinner. Okay? Bye.” She hang-up the phone without waiting for my reply. It sounded more of a voicemail rather than to be an actual call.

What am I supposed to do now? I have nothing left to do and I cannot be starting my homework by this time… it is kind of late already.

[blog…] a ball hit the window and I almost screamed out of surprise. Laughter came after the dubbing of the ball into the ground. Liam popped-up behind the window and picked the ball from the ground. Then he smirked that smile.

“What’s funny?” I recovered from a shock.

“Surprised sweet chick?” he can’t hold back the laughter inside him. The words sounded it was forced out of him.

“Not really dumb ass… I was just disappointed that you can’t catch a ball.” I replied cutting the grin that is forming in his face while I talk.

“Waiting for D? I think they are on over time as we are… regional is right of the curve and we can’t be fooling around now…” he speaks as he perspire pea-sized sweat all over him.

I then noticed that he was shirtless, showing off a real beautiful man in front of me. His well-chiseled six-pack is really tempting already not to consider the nicely toned chest and his arm-candy biceps. He is soaking wet from his hair down to his training shorts and I can’t pull out my sight from his well-endowed body until he found me peeking on him.

“Oh-oh… what we have here Mr. Editor?” he teased as he played around my hair tapping my head as if I was a sixth grader getting scolded by a senior.

“Hey… what are you doing?! Would you like to go back there and deal with your own business???” I took his hand over my crown and pointed his team behind him.

“Or wouldn’t you like me to stay here… I don’t think I should be the one saying that to you… This thing you peeking at is my business and not of yours.” he continued playing with a husky voice while pointing out his sweating body while he talks.

Liam Stratner… 17 years old quarterback who played the role of West Side High’s soccer team leader. He happens to be my best friend’s boyfriend and be everything that annoys me. Liam started fooling around and picking on me when he found out about my little place of Alcatraz. But back before when he started dating Dorotha, he is not like that… he was so nice and very caring. Above all… he is utterly cute and godly beautiful. What else can my bff wish for more? But now, here he is… making my senior years like hell. I was left with no other options but to wait for the time he gets bored on fooling around. And I think I have to be more persistent because he is not showing any surrender by now.

“Cut the crap out and go back to your practice you big pervert!” I commanded. I sounded pissed-off already.

“Yeah… that’s how I like it babe!” but he is enjoying.

“D won’t miss a thing… don’t make me.” I warned as if I am very convincing about that.

“I think your best friend that happens to be my girlfriend won’t mind if we fool around. Or maybe it will be just you fooling around with this… right?” He replied with that smile again. But instead of getting into the tête-à-tête, he turned his back on me and ran to the field back to his team.

“Good donkey.” I smirked while he is running back into the field.

Since I can’t go home yet, I decided to have some refresher for the upcoming midterms. I opened my pc and connected to Ms. Dwaine’s site to check on the available on-line reviewers. I filled-up the necessary blanks and started answering the forty points quiz. Since I was taking the Physics review, the questions focused more on the relation between different kinds of forces that affects gravity. It is kind of confusing or if I am right, I haven’t read thoroughly the notes I had for this topic. It is not a do or die quiz, as I planned--just a refresher… I hate loosing… so I hit the “x” icon on the window to close the website. I’ll take it later after I finished doing a thorough review of the pointers. As soon as I put the pc on a shutdown, someone knocked on the door.

“Finally!” my voice is relieved for the fact she is here already. I was so happy that I could leave the campus assuming it was Dorotha behind the door.

“Yeah… finally.” A husky voice replied… and it seemed satisfied.

I didn’t have a hard time guessing who it is… I darted outside the window and I became so sure. I opened the door and proved that I was right. Damn! Practice of the soccer jocks is over… and I haven’t noticed it.

“What do you want now? Leave me alone!” it seemed to be a threatening recommendation.

My sight was trapped again on a beautiful man’s body… not knowing I looked so silly. This time, the shorts Liam was wearing were pulled a little closer to show more of his pelvis. And a more manly scent jammed my sense of smell… it is so captivating, and it is impossible to get out of his spell. I started to bat an eyelid about the reality… maybe I am just dreaming. But no! After I restarted… Liam was in front of me… closer than the limits the prejudice served us.
.
“How do you like it Mythos?” the voice is as tempting as the body that I see in front of me. He started to play with my hair again… tapping the crown of my head over and over. “This is your chance… no one is around… definitely D isn’t here.” His sinfully enticing voice is working already.

“Liam… cut the crap out. I am not planning to play any games right now!” I wanted this to end… but not for him to go away. I went back to my table to finish compiling the layouts and then just leave the campus without Dorotha. I think she wouldn’t mind and I am very sure her mother as well. “I am going now… so if you have no business to do… please leave now.” I talk while I walk closer to my table. My heart accompanies the stomping of my feet with its own beating… it feels like movement of rubble underneath the ocean floor, slowly but very pronounced.

A tugging sound runs after behind me and a body-crashing sound ended the chase. I saw Liam already over my table crumpling and crushing my layouts with his wet body.

“Oh my goodness… get out of there!” I shouted at him while I get so furious seeing the layouts get wet with his perspiration.

I quickly rolled over my hands to rescue the layouts before it get worst and before all my boring afternoon of proofreading goes to the waste bin. While I tried pushing him off my table, I accidentally landed my right hand over his lower abdomen and found my left hand clutched on his right chest pressing so hard that I could feel his own heart beating.

“See you liked it!” He never ran-out of grins while he moans as if he were getting a nice rubdown.

“Please get off my table… this is due tomorrow… I only have one print-out of these!” I can’t help myself but to plead but I hesitated. Then suddenly, something came into my mind… what if I take the chance of making out with him… right here… right now. This is the chance and I might miss the pleasure if I’m not going to.

I thought I was dreaming… it felt like Nirvana. Liam grabbed my left hand over his chest and he successfully pulled me closer to him that almost our faces collide to each other. And then I found myself… my face… my lips… and my eyes fixed to him… it was too close I could almost take the chance.

“Do it… D will be oblivious to anything… I promise.” The urgency in his voice sounded that he desperately wanted me to kiss him… but it disappeared at his last note as if he were choking out of laughter inside him.

I pulled back my hands to free myself from him but I wasn’t strong enough to manage to loosen to his monstrous grip. The layouts got crumpled and crushed due to our persistence of keeping our objectives clear. I am loosing it… and I am going to kiss him now. It is now or never… I hope Dorotha will understand. But suddenly, a glimpse of me flickered in my mind… it was earlier when I was doing the proofreading. I think that my mind is telling me the importance of the layouts beneath Liam’s smoldering body… and most importantly the fact of betraying my very best friend. Then I got back to my senses.

“Please get off Liam… I am not playing this to you. I am not what you are thinking of me.” My voice is in the right tone. I am calm… and I am still in the right consciousness.

Liam’s face shifted as if he loose on the battlefield. I came triumphant. He got off the table leaving the crushed layouts behind. He then picked a page or two on his back that stocked behind him because of his sweat. He went down to pick up some more pages of my battered tomorrow. I saw everything all at once in slow motion… and I could clearly see his face full of despair… as if he is keeping so much pain inside him.

“Now I am really dead…” I concluded. I grabbed the remaining pages of my layouts while Liam handed me the pages he had in his hand.
“I am sorry.” He sounded like he really means it.

“I told you I am not playing this crap to you! I am really dead and so are you!” I ignited like a motorcycle that is so furious. “Now I needed to re-do everything from the start Liam!” I followed.

“But you liked it right?” a grin formed at his face while preparing to laugh out loud.

“You’re such an asshole!!! Get out or I shall call Dorotha now!” I threatened him.

“Ahemmm…” someone cleared her throat… but definitely I know the sound. “What’s happening M? Dorotha asked while standing by the hallway.

“Ask this donkey how dumb he is.” I throttled while pointing to Liam just beside of me.

“Here is your savior now…” Liam teased while he tried to bite off my finger that is pointed at him.

Dorotha Garcia… my best friend. We have known each other since childhood. We have a lot in common to share so that’s why we became best of friends. The only difference we have is that I am made from Spain and she is produced here in the United States. Dorotha and I are like brother and sister. We grew up having each other like we are really from just one maternal source. We played more than just best of friends, and brother and sister. We were often missed doubted of just being bff’s because of the way we treated each other. She is as well a senior like Liam and me. I share the top positions of the Student Council with her as her vice-executive officer. She is the pep squad leader since our junior years and still doing great with cheering our varsity teams. She is as well versed in Academics like I do. This girl is the apple of the eye of every male student of West Side; unfortunately to all of the guys in town, Liam hooked her up when we were in 8th grade.

The scene is always like this… Liam fools around with me… I get pissed-off… and she comes to salvage the remaining sanity in me. Our picture in our yearbook will be incomplete if anyone of us is not present… and it really mattered to me and to Dorotha that Liam should always be beside us all the time, especially to D because they are so together as the best couple in West Side. Being with both of them makes me as popular as they are… having a chance to enter their own personal “bubble” makes me such a lucky guy who kept on being envied by the rest of the school. As if I needed them for me to go around and ring a bell…I have my own guts to standout of the crowd.

“Hey babe… why are you here? Don’t tell me you are playing with Mythos again.” Dorotha asked.

“You bet!” I don’t understand why do Liam acts such like a fool.

“Where is your shirt?!” Dorotha followed and darted on the topless lad beside me. She looked straight to Liam’s eyes as if she were telling something I should not be hearing.

“Maybe he forgot to bring an extra shirt for practice today as usual…” I interjected on the conversation while I do my exit. I started picking my stuff while trying to evade all of Liam’s effort to play on me again. And I put extra effort on avoiding Dorotha’s gaze… I am sure that while I am moving right now, every inch of my actions are being watched. “D, I think I cannot come for dinner to your house later.” I let Dorotha seek some of my irritations to Liam without sounding too pissed about what just happened to my layouts.

“Why? Something came up?” Dorotha curiously asked.

“Not really… there was a big nasty monkey who needs to get laid because of the hot temperature of today. I went to take on a breather and when I came back, my layouts-which are due tomorrow morning-became an interest to someone’s pet. And now… I needed to re-do all of it so Mrs. Ravens wouldn’t kick me out of the school organ.” I protested keeping my tone low… as if I wanted Liam to be horrified again.

“What have you done asshole?!” Dorotha parted a wild shot to Liam.

“What?!” Liam asked as if he sounded denying the fact.

“Just forget it D, it is fine… but remember to keep your pet in his cage so this won’t happen again.” I compromised. “I’ll just ask my associate to send me the file for he layouts so I could print it right then. I am hoping it is the exact file for this.” I set each of my words with so much sarcasm while pointing out to the crumpled pages of the layouts. “I should be going now… send my regards to Aunt Mary.” I followed. I tried to end it short so I could walk my way home already.

“No problem… but for sure, mom will still ask why…?” she wanted more conversation.

“Just tell her it was a long story… promise… I’ll do come the next time.” My tone supported my words.

“Yeah… do tell Mrs. Garcia that Mythos had a great time touching a rock-hard abs… hehehe… I bet he will be having wet dreams tonight.” Liam mumbled silently on his last phrase.

I retreated from the fight with a smug face. I hate whenever Liam tried picking on me. It is a “no problem” really when he makes fun out of me but I really hate the fact of doing the layouts all over again. I parted my goodbye to Dorotha and kissed her on the cheeks. I walked out the office leaving them behind.

“Ouch!” Liam cried out loud then chuckled…

Before I finally leave them and walk my way out of the hallway, I looked at Liam behind Dorotha’s back while they are hugging each other. Liam darted a salute as if I were his officer and he was the private. I can’t loose my senses here… I decided to go home now. I left the two inside the office giving each other a passionate kiss, as if they missed each other for a long time. Well, they are so in-love… and what can I either say or do about it?

I finally went out the campus with no more added struggles. I was about to turn left to my street when a car buzzed its horn calling my attention. And then I saw Liam’s car rushing closer to me.

“You sure you’re not coming?” Dorotha had mastered using her sweetest voice.

“Oh please D, don’t do this… I am not coming.” I replied. I stood on my decision of flaking the dinner with Aunt Mary. And I think that I reached my limit of my Liam-mo-meter for the day. So I waved goodbye again to both of them.

The car took off immediately, leaving me behind. Before it goes too far, I saw Liam staring at me with a grin through the side mirror.

Then I started to walk my way to the street, trailing my way home.

CRAZY ABOUT YOU (PROLOUGE)

Crazy About You

By Brangien

            “Life is full of uncertainties and unpredictability. You can’t tell whether things will still be the same as they are a minute ago. There are a lot of crazy things left unspoken and are waiting to be discovered. The only truth in this world is that--you cannot expect of something to go on as normal forever. The wheel is keep on turning and the clock won’t stop from running. Crazy things are meant to happen… the essence of fooling around and the least of all reason that you learned how to love. Crazy believing that love conquers all… will fate be playing with me too?”

Prologue

            The last day of those many days will be today. And I don’t like it… unquestionably. After this, what will happen to us… where will it leave us? Are we going to be friends after all the craziness we’ve been through? I don’t like to expect anymore… you need to take on the wheels by yourself and figure out if you are staying or not… or whatever will happen after that, I don’t care anymore. There is just one thing I would like to be concerned about--and that would be… am I able to put myself inside your heart this time?

“You don’t like my place?” the voice sounded very intimidated. Liam asked as he walks by the fireplace holding a bottle of my favorite Cabernet Sauvignon.

“No… I’m just amazed. You live here alone?” I still have a lot of questions.

“Why? Do you see anyone else?” he replied as if I saw someone else. Liam doesn’t really know how to crack a joke. But he looks so weird tonight. He is cunningly look childish or rather acts like a child… it is very obvious from the way he speaks and how he moves around.

“Hahaha… don’t try to make yourself funny. Why did you bring me here?” seems that I don’t know what I am talking about.

But actually, right now, I am clueless of what to do. I’ve been waiting for this… for this guy to bring me at his place and show a part of his life that I really wanted to see. Now that I am here… it is so odd that all of my curiosity about his life were gone. I am plainly so nervous.

“Say something… you look weird today… what’s wrong?” he ended his words with that smile.

“Nothing… I am just thinking of something.” I replied. Yet the truth is, there is really nothing going on my mind now. I feel floating… and very weightless. “I just feel a little edgy.” I dropped a hint but still so lame.

“Come on, wouldn’t you like to be here?” he keeps on asking. “You’ve been giving me hints all this time that you wanted to be here… don’t tell me I got it so wrong?” he then followed.

           

I don’t know what to say. Or maybe I have just decided to keep silent and enjoy this moment with him. I don’t want tomorrow to come anymore. I would like to stay here forever… and I want to see myself in this scene with him… just like this… as long as possible.

“This is what you’ve been asking right… you wanted this for so long…” he is certain about it.

            Spot on… the 100^th day and the 100^th task arrived without warning. I really thought we were just going to such a place where he will then break my heart. But this is too much. I feel drowning from all the swirling and whirling of my feelings and the suddenly changes of my heartbeat and my body temperature. Liam and I… just us… in his flat… and I cannot think of any better thing than this. I want to enjoy this night the way he wanted me to enjoy it. The thing is, I am not so sure about what he plans to do after. Will it be a happy ending for the both of us or it’ll just be a hilarious finale for him to enjoy.

The fear of losing him by tomorrow morning lingers in my head. Right now, I wanted to stop the clock from running and consume the rest of our time until every second is gone. I wish to extend this fantasy and make more dreams if I am dreaming… I hope not to wake anymore. But this is really happening and I am not dreaming. I am at the real world and not in my own imaginary land. I am sure that this moment will pass so fast and I can’t stop the time from running and there is no chance of going back to this time again. Because in the real world… there is no such thing as “magic.” And love on the real world sometimes gets so messy that even those who fall so truly might be feeling they just slipped on a sloppy slope.

            Liam noticed that my silence brought me to my own world, so he deals putting on the fire instead. After lighting up the fireplace, he uncorked the bottle of red wine and poured a starter to two tall red wine glasses. He is not a wine drinker actually. Liam prefers beer like every other guy in his team and maybe like all other normal guys out there. I was the one who forced him to appreciate the goodness of it, and now, I don’t really have to push him every time I decided to unwind.

He suddenly waved the smile that I like. I am pretty sure he knows that I like it I never saw him showing it to anyone else… and I am sure that this guy made it just for me… his personalized smile for me that struck me each and every time.

            It was a total eclipse… and very silent. What I could only hear is the hushing of the leaves outside and the throbbing of my heart. It is very dark outside and all that illuminates my vision is the fire from the fireplace that is just starting to grow. What is happening? Has he decided to keep his thought to his self and give me a quiet time? Why doesn’t he fool around like what he has been doing all this time? I finished my wine so fast that got his attention, or rather, there is nothing going on really… and that is the only thing worh noticing about.

“You have other plans for tonight?” He asked while pouring my second glass of my favorite brand. He sounded like I was planning of going somewhere else.

“I’m sorry. Never noticed that I drunk too fast.” I replied.

“I think I poured too little for your starter. I forgot that it was Château Renaissance.” He focuses on pouring on the wine and being too careful not to waste a drip at the end. Is it really possible for him to forget about this very specific detail about me or he is just making an excuse to make a conversation?

            I am such a fool. I don’t know what to do. If I stay quiet until we finish the bottle… what shall I do next? Why hasn’t this guy say anything rather questioning me about this nonsense-ness? He is so hard to read right now. The impulse he is giving right now doesn’t match the movements of his eyes and connects to the smiles he continuously throws whenever our eyes met. It is so obvious to me that I don’t like to do anything… it is so clear to me that once I’ve started a “conversation”, everything will move in a fast-forward.

Can't Wait For The Next Turn

KEEP UP

By Brangien

What I consider of life’s precious,

Dignity, Love, and family are treasure.

Keeping them safe is so much work,

Making them stay worth hundreds turf.

There are so many captives thriving to get it owned,

But I always keep it a sound inside my stronghold.

Believe me it’s hard of being not told,

Wrong turns of life… the next circle I’m lost.

I always find myself from that starting point,

However I tried of moving on.

Every achievements means nothing at all,

If only one of those treasures is gone in the road.

Being myself requires so many strengths,

Why can’t I just be normal for a simple change?

Now I’m lost with the mysteries of life,

And no one is there to help me survive.

I finally believed that giving up,

Will just be a great escape route.

But how will I see myself by the next turn again,

Will I conquer the world or will still be the same.

I never felt of so much despair,

Looking back from where I started.

I’ve been in so many places,

And have dealt with so many faces.

Clearly nothing I could compare,

To what I consider of my life’s gain.

Waiting behind and staying up,

A person tends to do just to hold up.

So many have said just sit back and relax,

How come can they say such a lame act?

I always believe my fate is a misfortune,

But I haven’t known I’ve been lucky for long.

Keeping such a life of everyone’s treasure,

I couldn’t see anyone in any of my precious.

Now I will decide of going back,

To the point I’ve started and never go back.

After all the sacrifices I’ve made and done,

I always believe that soon unfortunate will be gone.

I won’t hold back nor stay put,

Such kind of acts never made me true.

I am a person who consider all my stake,

So how come can I do some terrible mistakes.

In this life of mine there were been regrets,

Choosing the wrong turn cost me a lot of debt.

But here I am still standing affirm,

Close to the ground and swaying with the wind.

I’ve decided to go on and by,

I will never put my life aside.

Life is all what you make of it,

Maybe tomorrow I will make it.

Patience requires by so many guild,

Why haven’t I figured it out… that is so weird?

All of my life is a precious,

All of my gains are treasures.

I won’t change to have a simple life,

I believe life is really extravagant.

From all the scars that fades,

To every inch of wound that glade.

Here in the starting point I swear,

If I will make a wrong turn again…

I will keep up and win the fame!