Life can't be perfect...

Life is just like sand and sea, though picture perfect, they cannot really be that beautiful. You cannot hold anyone of these on your palm and you really cannot stay on it for too long... Everyday, I always have a chance to see the sand and the sea... and I am getting sick of it... but that was the consequence... it is either you stay in Manila and see unholy scenes or stay somewhere else where you see nothing but odd things...

There are times in our life where we get frustrated of a never ending feeling of today and tomorrow were just like yesterday and the other day. And in my case, frustration on the peak and tiredness has reached the maximum limit... And after a day of rest, everything seems to restart and then repeat again. This makes it hard for me to decide if shall I be going or not... Add to it the factors that makes you wither faster: inconsiderate people, if you are being paid enough though you work like a cow, your hyperactive boss, the expectation of insecure people, your back-stabbing "frienemies", and many more. How shall I manage these??? I am getting stressed too much... I am just a young boy who lived on a man's world... shall I go out and do my thing on a young boy's world again???

Why can't be my life be perfect like other people's life??? Why can't I just be happy of what is happening and be thankful for every opportunity that comes. Is it just a test??? Or I am not aware of what some people is planning for me - for my sake or maybe for their glory. This is what I am thinking right now... I'll still keep on working as hard and as best as possible. I am not expecting of any recognition but I am hoping that someone would appreciate the things I am doing.

Like the sand and sea... those aren't compact... no definite shape and size... life for me right now can't be perfect as long as I can figure out how to manage it well... like sand and sea, as long as I can figure out how to hold them together.

Like sand and sea... life right now and life later is different... even for a second.

The Purpose of Growing Up...

The biggest challenge in my life is happening right now...

After a month and more days of being away from home really makes my emotions down... and to tell you the truth, I really miss my life back in Manila. Above all of what I miss, I am craving to have it all back... or shall I say "Should I go back now???" This is the challenge, working far away from home and feeling very home-sick.

"Should I go or not?" was the question and was the only thing in my mind for the past several days... but after having a day-off from work and all the pressure, expectations, and problems of my professional career, it was a sudden that I thought of my purpose and reason why am I here in Boracay right now...

For the past month or maybe it were just on the past weeks, I felt like a candle that slowly melts down to death... a pail of water on a brink of spilling... an avalanche which awaits for someone's shout... Or maybe I am just tired for working more than fourteen hours a day on three weeks time without any decent rest nor day-off... and maybe because I am not that happy being away from home. Whatever reason it was... now I finally realize the thing that I should do.

That was November of 2008, I am really really frustrated of being jobless and restless of not being capable to help financially to my family... other than that, I can't have and I cannot do the things I wanted. And from that time on, I promised to myself that if I'll get a wonderful offer to a prestigious company, I will do whatever it takes and all my very best just to have a job... Here I am right now, March of 2009, already burnt-out of my work. What seems to be the problem or is there any problem at all...

Again... What was my purpose of accepting this job anyways???

Right... to help my family...

But why am I frustrated again??? Or maybe not??? Tired??? Maybe yes...

Growing up for me is not only getting old... For me, it is more than maturing and having more responsibilities and obligations. Growing up is also a change for which I acquaint different traits but not really having it on me. Not really on physical attributes, growing up for me is more on the abstracts... emotional, mental, and maybe social...

For the fact that I'm not getting young anymore, maybe I could have a little consideration for being unexperienced matured person... I am just twenty and turning twenty-one. Maybe I learned a lot from only some aspect of life but there are still empty rooms to fill-in. I need time... a lot of time to do it... and I am still on the stage where I should learn to know which are the important things that I should do and focus on keeping myself happy.

Growing up is compulsory... that is what I know...