A Better Stake!!!

Status??? Still single and very available. Life and Love, to me and on my perspective, keeps on going unbalanced.

I've been formally single since the day I was back from Boracay. And I thought that love will be back on its rightful track when I come back home. For which I knew it wasn't. It grew worse than I expected it and nothing happened that seems to be good for me. It became unhealthy for me to keep the relationship, and even love itself, so I decided to take it out from my system before it become serious and change my life again. I don't afford to be that person again... and I am not planning to be one again.

What can I do??? Move on, of course... there's no other way for me. So here I am now... enjoying the single status as always. Well... it's been a roller coaster ride every time I fell in love but all of it were all good experiences not considering some changed me a lot. Now... better to be single than not to be happy in a relationship... and I am not planning to look for a replacement as soon as possible... I am taking a break from it all... but I am planning to take on new things... to experience a different kind of lifestyle... Well... I am really bored with my life right now and I think it is time to try on new challenges and craziness life has to offer me.

Enjoying my free time... more with myself and alone. But I am always asking the Berks to meet up and catch up with the things we were missing to each other. I am really grateful of having this set of friends. Even though I am not so open with them emotionally, at least I am giving hint on my status and what state of consciousness I am right now. And here is one person I wanted to be my best friend... but lately I realized that I cannot make someone my bff if that person doesn't appreciate my efforts. Well... I can only say that... there are still other people who are far more interesting to be my bff and it is not yet the end of the world so I have so much time to look for one to be. If you don't like then might as well say it so I'm not wasting my damnest time sending you messages and trying to catch up things with us. If you aren't capable of being a bff... let's be enemies forever of our fucking lives!!! Hehehe... peace bro!!!

A dream keeps on bugging me for almost a month now... Well... it is addicting because it is Twilight Saga related... Why does Edward Cullen keeps on showing on my dreams??? I hoped it to be Bella Swan but why Edward... I'm getting confused!!! After writhing in pain and getting bed-ridden for days, I thought I was on my conversion to be a vampire. But for I knew that I only had influenza, I am really hooked with this "vampire" thing. Can't explain why I wanted to be one... maybe I am also afraid to get old... I want to stay twenty-one forever.Hehehe... well... maybe I definitely be missing the whole novel already... November 20 is still too far and waiting won't do any good... but I can't spell out myself these days. Why do I keep updated on these US series of dramas and shows... just like when I am hooked on Korean series last year and the other years... now, it is the dawn of US films and shows... great!!! I am really hard to spell-out!!! I am liking the Americans little by little. Crazy right???!!!

It is as simple as, "I wanted to be happier with this life of mine." Period. Having a better stake on my life means a greater risk taking but I am sure I'll get over things on no time. I am not focused in some sense but professionaly I am taking the right path. In other aspects of life, I am desoluted, but I am on the process of making things better. It is just like reorganizing my bedroom... I wreck havoc on it first before I go on fixing things for the better...

More plans and new dreams to strive on. Future for me seems to be very blurry because I always tend to change my mind... more subjective sometimes and then more objective the other day... you really cannot tell and spell me out unless you focus to know me well... Even myself... damn... I have so many plans!!!

Assets...

"Can't wait for another five years for my future to unfold. This is it, the break I am waiting for... my chance to be over the top!!!"

For all the waiting... interviews and meetings... for all the hopes and prayers by everyone, I am now starting to really create a professional person inside myself. And to tell you the truth... it is some kind of surprising to me each day that comes. A little bit awkward and confusing at first because it would be my first time to handle an establishment with all of myself to depend on. Just the owners to be my guide... this is going to be my make or break!!!

The first few days at work were just the normal scene from all the previous jobs I had. Food tasting... Menu conceptualization and proposals... Marketing strategies... and still... so much responsibilities to take in charge of. I am really getting a lot and learning so much from this job. I am having fun though I am getting sick so easily due to our "ever-unpredictable" weather and all the stress and hazards my job includes. But as far as my happiness and career will be considered, I am really making a huge mark on my own history.

By the way, I am now the Head Chef of Muruve Wine Cellar and Bistro in Ortigas Home Depot. And I am excited to tell everyone that we at Muruve are changing our menu to better serve our patrons. Aside from the menu renovations, there will be weekly special menu for the coming months.The plans really make me feel thrilled and challenged everyday. I am on full-boosters on creating new Spansih dishes-tapas and main courses to focus on.

Professionaly speaking, I can say now that there is learning and progress that is happening on my career. But what I am just sad about is that I really cannot balance-out my life in the perfectly weighed idea I have in my mind. I wanted to live a life like those of the professionals I see on newspapers and television shows. Not the glamour and the shine of a star but the stability and security, and maybe power and control. Not so much wealth and prestige but just only recognition and enough assets to tell myself and show everyone that I am reaching a higher stake for my life.

But there are a lot of "enough and right" time for every plans and wants that I have right now. I just turned twenty-one and I am still very young. I don't want to rush up anymore to everything so I won't regret of making nuissance mistakes. And for the time being, I'll just focus on making myself on my chosen professional world to be one who is setting trends. With that, I will make Muruve to be the best destination for Spanish cuisine.

My greatest asset right now is myself!!!

Scared of my dreams...

Twenty-One and Young


It was my birthday yesterday,
it passed so quickly.
It was a special day,
everyone celebrated.
It was a good day,
I felt so happy that day.
But the night before the day,
I came to see myself on my dreams...
walking as an old man.
I don't like to picture it out,
the person is weak and slow.
I don't want to think of it,
I am getting scared by just thinking.
But what if it is true,
Time flies so quickly... can I avoid it???
It was my birthday the other day,
And I was one year older after.
Don't like to see the breaking dawn alone...
Neither watch a full moon on just a pair of eyes...
Breathing air lifelessly is too much...
Running on the hills will be fun...
I just can't keep it aside, I'm getting curios.
What will be there in my future???
Will there be someone else or just me alone???
Will there be an old man,
Whose skin sags and dry???
Will there be just one man,
Loveless and alone???
Will there be me,
Forever walking without you???
I just celebrated my birthday the other...
I am now twenty-one.
Forever of never ending is still so far,
but I got older the other day...
But hey...
Why am I so anxious of it...
I am happy...
I am twenty-one and young...
Still young!!!