Too Fast...

And the year will going to end in a few days... together with it, the memories of this year 2008 will be left behind as a "past tense" forever. And for me, this time of my life passed too fast...
How can I forget a year full of so many things... things which are new to me... experiences I've never had before... feelings I never felt before... and all the foolish ideas I had and also the wonderful things I managed to have. Well, so to speak, even this year wasn't that beautiful as I expected, as the day for its ending comes, little by little I sort out every film of my life to decide which to remake next year and which are those I should keep forever.
Once in a while, there are always a point in my life that, really, I hated so much. These includes all the wrong perception of life, the bad plans and wrong decisions, some unpleasant memories with some other people, unavoidable embarrassments... and to whatever extent I wished to go back in time to make these events the way I wanted it, disappointments are always waiting for me.
I think I overdone it. I pushed myself too much that I never noticed of giving pain to myself and then reflecting it to other people. I do hope to ask for forgiveness and I know everything is forgiven. All swell that ends well...
As I set my foot forward to next year's tomorrow, many lists are written and still growing... expectations and hopes are getting much stronger... and for whatever reason, I want to make 2009 the best that I could ever have. Right now, as I write this post, there's an oddly feeling that I feel next year would be the last of my years... I don't know, it just suddenly came out from somewhere. But anyways, I do hope I will give myself whatever I wanted and live the life I ever wished for. I... maybe for next year, shall still have the same manners and attitude, same goals set in different ways, the same faith on the manner I know... and so many "same" things to preserve for I feel these makes me a better person.
And for 2009, yes... for 2009!!! There are so much to wait... literally... Ahm... films... books... travels... a new lifestyle... jobs... life... and love (I guess). But i am getting worried for my expectation of having all these plans in my hand and in my life. Maybe I got too scared, too hurt, and too hopeless this 2008 that I gave up on being very optimistic about my own life. And maybe there are so many disappointments that made me decide I should not dream anymore.
But everything in life changes... not every year... not next month... and not by seconds that pass... life changes too fast as fast you are making your decisions for your life.
So let us all wait for what is up ahead... let us be thrilled with every bit of excitement and celebrate every reason for living... for life you have right now is only once in a lifetime... maybe there will be dejavus but believe me... there's nothing in this world that happens twice...