Life can't be perfect...

Life is just like sand and sea, though picture perfect, they cannot really be that beautiful. You cannot hold anyone of these on your palm and you really cannot stay on it for too long... Everyday, I always have a chance to see the sand and the sea... and I am getting sick of it... but that was the consequence... it is either you stay in Manila and see unholy scenes or stay somewhere else where you see nothing but odd things...

There are times in our life where we get frustrated of a never ending feeling of today and tomorrow were just like yesterday and the other day. And in my case, frustration on the peak and tiredness has reached the maximum limit... And after a day of rest, everything seems to restart and then repeat again. This makes it hard for me to decide if shall I be going or not... Add to it the factors that makes you wither faster: inconsiderate people, if you are being paid enough though you work like a cow, your hyperactive boss, the expectation of insecure people, your back-stabbing "frienemies", and many more. How shall I manage these??? I am getting stressed too much... I am just a young boy who lived on a man's world... shall I go out and do my thing on a young boy's world again???

Why can't be my life be perfect like other people's life??? Why can't I just be happy of what is happening and be thankful for every opportunity that comes. Is it just a test??? Or I am not aware of what some people is planning for me - for my sake or maybe for their glory. This is what I am thinking right now... I'll still keep on working as hard and as best as possible. I am not expecting of any recognition but I am hoping that someone would appreciate the things I am doing.

Like the sand and sea... those aren't compact... no definite shape and size... life for me right now can't be perfect as long as I can figure out how to manage it well... like sand and sea, as long as I can figure out how to hold them together.

Like sand and sea... life right now and life later is different... even for a second.

The Purpose of Growing Up...

The biggest challenge in my life is happening right now...

After a month and more days of being away from home really makes my emotions down... and to tell you the truth, I really miss my life back in Manila. Above all of what I miss, I am craving to have it all back... or shall I say "Should I go back now???" This is the challenge, working far away from home and feeling very home-sick.

"Should I go or not?" was the question and was the only thing in my mind for the past several days... but after having a day-off from work and all the pressure, expectations, and problems of my professional career, it was a sudden that I thought of my purpose and reason why am I here in Boracay right now...

For the past month or maybe it were just on the past weeks, I felt like a candle that slowly melts down to death... a pail of water on a brink of spilling... an avalanche which awaits for someone's shout... Or maybe I am just tired for working more than fourteen hours a day on three weeks time without any decent rest nor day-off... and maybe because I am not that happy being away from home. Whatever reason it was... now I finally realize the thing that I should do.

That was November of 2008, I am really really frustrated of being jobless and restless of not being capable to help financially to my family... other than that, I can't have and I cannot do the things I wanted. And from that time on, I promised to myself that if I'll get a wonderful offer to a prestigious company, I will do whatever it takes and all my very best just to have a job... Here I am right now, March of 2009, already burnt-out of my work. What seems to be the problem or is there any problem at all...

Again... What was my purpose of accepting this job anyways???

Right... to help my family...

But why am I frustrated again??? Or maybe not??? Tired??? Maybe yes...

Growing up for me is not only getting old... For me, it is more than maturing and having more responsibilities and obligations. Growing up is also a change for which I acquaint different traits but not really having it on me. Not really on physical attributes, growing up for me is more on the abstracts... emotional, mental, and maybe social...

For the fact that I'm not getting young anymore, maybe I could have a little consideration for being unexperienced matured person... I am just twenty and turning twenty-one. Maybe I learned a lot from only some aspect of life but there are still empty rooms to fill-in. I need time... a lot of time to do it... and I am still on the stage where I should learn to know which are the important things that I should do and focus on keeping myself happy.

Growing up is compulsory... that is what I know...

Almost Over...

After all the sleepless nights and stressful days... all the waiting and disappointments... and everything that made every bit of my life hopeless... It seems that it is almost over...

I'm on it! Tomorrow's flight to Boracay! And truly, I am very very happy about it. It is just like having the exact expectation in front of you. What I visioned about from the past is now happening ahead of me. And for that, I can't really believe that it's happening.

But I'll going to miss so many things... family, friends, my old-life... everything that comprises me as a whole. I never got a nice chance to meet each of my friends for all of us were bus the whole day. And I just had enough time to pack my things and prepare to embark on my journey tomorrow. I will miss everyone... all of you guys... from my real friends and family to every acquainted person on my E-Life. But I promise to keep up and I will tr my very best to keep you posted on my life on Boracay. For me, nothing defies the power of Internet. Guys!!! OMG!!! I will miss everyone of you!!!

Well... I am really excited and I can't wait anymore... For the fact that it'll all be "first", it really thrills me a lot!

So... Hopes are always high... Wish me luck... and I need everyone's support for this new adventure of my life.

Bora!!! Here I come!!!

So Funny!!!

Hahaha it is so funny and too stupid of me!!!

Hehehe... this is why I am having weird feelings about what's going on lately...

Hahaha... maybe I got too excited of going to Boracay...

On my previous post, "I Hate Sa Farewells", I indicated that I will be leaving Sunday, January 19... hahaha I was so stupid of not checking the calendar... hahaha... I just noticed that I looked from the 2008 calendar... OMG... January 19, 2009 is a MONDAY!!! SO FUNNY!!!

I Hate Sad Farewells...

If I will be lucky enough... well... I will be leaving as soon and as early as Monday (January 19, 2009) for my new work destination... Boracay!!!

It is a really really great news for me and for everyone who knows me. I really wanted to travel and to give myself my own independence and my own life which is not preoccupied with mostly family matters...

But however the good news is, there are always sad farewells... and in my case, I'll just disappear from the scene... no farewells... no crying... no goodbyes... I really hate saying goodbyes...

Lately I am feeling so much lonely and very emotional for I am just counting hours before I leave my home... my life for almost 20 years... everything I have all my life... And then I'll embark on a journey alone and be a stranger to strangers. The saddest part is, I might not get a chance to see my very-missed friends... I've been doing all I could do contact each of them but it seems that every one of them are busy with their on lives... well... that makes me very sad... Yet, I do understand all of their reasons and I know how hard for them to manage their time and insert me into their schedules...

Anyways, and whatever happens, the journey will still start on the said date... and I can't do anything more about it... Now, I've been giving myself the most special time and taking preparations for this adventure of my life. This would be a real adventure... journey to a place I've never been, meeting the strangest people on the strangest situation... and maybe the most challenging part is, I'll get surrounded mostly by water. In fact, its not really a problem for I am a "water person", I am just having this queer feeling of being surrounded by water and having a limited space. Imagine it, a very huge island... isolated... and you hear the rushing of the waves all of the time... the sun is set so high, so bright, and scorching hot... wow... I hope I will survive being a cast-away.

But... as the time passes by and the clock eats up my remaining hours of being at home while the rest of my "used to" life changes every minute, I really can't help but to cry... thinking of what life will I have there and what will happen back here whilst I'm there... I thought before that I could live freely of worries about home when I get a chance to be away... now, I am starting to get home-sick already...

"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you."

-Edward Cullen (Twilight)

Hopes are high... I should not be too vulnerable like this for such things at being away from home... I should keep myself strong. I know they will be good even I'm not at home. There are always a first and in my case, I already had been away from home... I bet it has been a good practice for this time around. But I can't really ignore my worries at all... it is just like a mother worrying for her children when she goes to work and have the kids all by themselves at home... Well... wish me luck!!!

"Will of the Wind"

I spent half my life
Looking at the reasons things must change.
And half my life trying to make them stay the same.
But love would fade like summer into fall;
All that i could see was a mystery,
It made no sense at all.

The will of the wind, you feel it and then,
It will pass you blowing steady.
It comes and it goes, and god only knows,
You must keep your sails on ready.
So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind.

I spent so many hours
Just thinkin' 'bout the way things might have been.
And so many hours trying to bring the good times back again.
And so it goes for lonely hearted fools;
They let their days just slipe away,
Until they give into...

The will of the wind, you feel it and then,
It will pass you blowing steady.
It comes and it goes, and god only knows,
You must keep your sails on ready.
So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind.

And god only knows...

So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind...

Lightning and Thunder...

Are you afraid of getting hit by lightning??? Of course, everyone does! Hahaha...
What about thunder??? Do you like the rumbling clouds above you??? Now, the feeling I feel right now is just like having the two scenario together. Getting struck by lightning and the deafening sound of thunder.

I've been wanting of being on a situation that wholly depends on what decision to make and to where I'll go. I never come to think of getting confused and doubtful about each twist and turns. And really... now I know the feeling of getting pressured... not totally pressured but it is almost there. And how will you make a decision if you will just base it on half lose and half win situation. Should it be right to go for only a win-win plan? Or again, I should take risk on a very cautious one.

My career and my entire life will be affected. My 2009 will get ruined if I make a wrong move. Getting hit by lightning or rumbled thunder, I don't care anymore. The feeling right now is worst. I am expecting so much from myself... and my family also does expect. Plus, the people who are hoping that I'll go with them as they and the company progress are waiting for such decisions to be made... what will I do? I have been wishing to be in such situation yet right now I am very confused and lost. Every time I try to get a chance to think... OMG... I always end up spacing-out. And the result... nothing... nothing but nothing.

I now hope and wish... that I could have a chance to think clearly. Trying to put every details and requirements and standards that I have for getting the offers, the jobs, and lastly closing the deal and signing the contract... I hope that I will come-up of a good decision that I won't regret for the entire span of the contract or even my whole professional career...

All I wanted is the best deal available. And when I say best deal, I mean the best for both my life and career... and also beneficial for my family and friends... Wow!!! Why is it hard to come-up with a good decision???

Please... I need a peace of mind... let me think... I have to...

Or maybe... I will ask for a sign???

PLENTY OF COPIES!!!

Hi guys!!!

Who said that the Philippines is running low on Twilight Saga books??? I think that is also a false rumor... ANOTHER HOAX!!!

I just visited POWERBOOKS GLORIETTA to reserve my own copies of the books... I had the photos of stacked TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, ECLIPSE, and BREAKING DAWN...

I've heard a news that National Bookstore outlets are fully stocked with paperbacks and hard-bounds as well...

What are you waiting for????

GO! GO! GO!